Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

How is it that people consider themselves shy in SL? You know you’ve either said it or know someone who has: “Please don’t think I’m stand-offish, I’m just shy. Feel free to IM me – I love making friends.”

Believe it or not, I use to be uberly shy in RL. True story! Today Hawks can testify that he hasn’t known me as the shy RL Jelly of yesteryears. I believe I owe a lot of my shell breaking to SecondLife. Afterall SL gives us that sense of anonymousness. Hah! Try saying that 10 times fast – anonymousness!!!

I guess I believe the phrase “I’m shy” coming from anyone in SL is  an overly used excuse for other real reasons. Was that shy lil ole’ you at the “Lingerie Party”? Was that shy lil ole’ you bloggity blogging your outspoken opinion on your shy lil bloggity blog?

This post comes from the fact that I’ve finally had enough about hearing “shy” used everywhere in an anonymous virtual world where a girl can play a male avatar for four years and get away with it, where you can be a bunny, hell don’t stop at being a bunny have sex with it and make it your bitch but while you’re accomplishing all that… don’t tell me that you are shy, ever!

With SL being as anonymous as you make it, how exactly are you shy? Is it really shyness or is it something else? My belief is that most people feel star struck in SL when it comes to those that they deem SLebrities, popular, in-crowd or A-list. Then of course the automatic reply for not saying hello is: “Oh I’m too shy to IM them.” This of course not being every case.

Is the word “shy” used as an excuse to not invite others into your slife? If this is the case, SL may not be the right virtual world for you. SL has no goals, no achievements for grid exploration, leveling up, or number of kills… it *is* a social network, just one great big virual chat room for the spreading of your societal wings.

Or just mayhapsibly “shy” is not the proper term but you *are* definitely something. Mayhaps you’re hesitant in acting or speaking through lack of self-confidence? Well that’s not necessarily shyness, that’s being diffident. Or quite possibly you could be coy, implying a pretended shyness?

I’ve seen it on Plurk a lot where someone (SL peeps, mind you) will chat up a storm, be in everyone else’s convos, replying to every new thread, starting their own, but will say “I’m shy, but please IM me” or “I wish I hung out with more people but I’m really shy”. Did you ever consider by saying that you are shy and requesting that others initiate any conversation that you are asking them to do the very thing that you are so afraid to do yourself?

Nobody likes rejection, but we’re all human (unless of course, you’re really a Greenie) and mostly share the same fears. Look at it this way, what is the worse the thing that could happen if you actually broke the chains of the shyness that you claim bind you? You IM someone and they don’t reply or reject you in some way? Well then, it’s a good thing you can always fall back on your *opinionated* bloggity blog, huh?