Plurk Mini Guide

Don’t know what Plurk is? Know what it is but you’re bucking the system and holding yourself back from being one of the ‘sheep’? Don’t be silly! I know and you know that you will one day be a plurker! Why not today? Plugged in, in the know, in SL, in RL – we all have this need to stay on top of everything going on.  What better place to receive instantaneous updates??

Common to the new plurk user is confusion, followed by a sense of wtf, then a mad dash to add anyone you know. Today I’m gonna let you in on some first rate secrets that will help you get acquainted with Plurk and shoot to 100 in Karma in no time! Ok, well at least to 83.54 within like 6 months.

The Lay of the Land

Plurk is a timeline of what you and your friends/fans/stalkers/stalkees are doing throughout the day. Every day. Every minute of every day of every week. Updates move to the left… no not that left… yes the other one. Going to the right to read will catch you up on all that you missed since your last fix. And it’s totally accurate and infallible! haha! Well, it at least has the stability of the grid on a Sunday.

Presentation is Key

Now that you know how your timeline is set up, it’s time to pay attention to your image. Yes, friends are important and we’ll talk about that in the next stage, but nothing says n00b like that freaky black square with the white eyes and mouth where your shimmering visage should be. That’s right! Upload your most becoming picture so that people will be able to recognize you as the savvy user you are right off! Remember that you get more karma points for updating your profile and your pic… and really, what more is there to want for in life when your gaining karma?

Next you want to insert some random and unique lines about who you are on your profile and answer as many questions as you can so that everyone knows more about you than you could possibly ever update them with.  When it comes to answering the ‘Relationship’ question, oh, please do be original and select ‘complicated’.

It’s All About Who You Know

When building your friends list, you should first seek out those very friends who lured you to Plurk. At least you can be fairly optimistic that they won’t reject you or leave your friendship offer hanging in limbo, right?

A useful tool when compiling your friends is Mogg Oceanlane’s List of SL’ers on Plurk. This is an unbelievably massive and comprehensive list and is updated monthly to include new arrivals (awesome job, Moggs btw). So rest assured! Those other exclusive lists floating around the interwebz are so 2008. You could be on the list. Find your friends, mingle, network, whatev! In addition, here’s a short list of plurkers who are karma h’oors:

From there, just check those profiles to find out who knows who and ADD, ADD, ADD! The one with the most friends wins! Weeeee!

The Grand Entrance

Now it’s time for your inaugural plurk! You have the swanky pic, people will click through to your profile and see your creme de la creme friends list… everything carefully orchestrated to secure your rightful place in plurk fame. What exactly will you say to make your presence known?

It’s ok to go with the traditional “Trying to figure this thing out!” or “Needs someone to teach me how to use Plurk!” Sure it’s the safe alternative, but still o.k. We were all n00bs once. This will also give your new friends the chance to flex their superior plurkability.

Another option is to create a splash! What better way to grab the rapt attention of your admirers than by exclaiming “has one hand down his/her pants and the other one is typing…” or “is smoking a cigarette, plurking and giving a peace sign… talent y0!”? Looking to get some responses? Those might just work.

Plurk Maintenance

A few suggestions to make your stay at plurk more comfy:

  • Feelings – share em! Frequently. The more extreme, the better! We all feeeeeel, we can so relate!
  • Food – What are you eating? What did you eat? What will you be eating? ok, and what are you eating now? What do you wish you were eating?
  • Stirring the pot via plurk can be an entertaining use of time. Cryptic updates like “I’m so effing effed!” will really get them shooting out cozies.
  • Share – pictures, posts, sites, videos, songs, the disgusting stuff that came out of your nose… sharing is caring people ❤
  • Always keep your fellow plurkers apprised of your sleep schedule. This is very important.

Tips For Advanced Users

Private vs. Public

When you begin to realize how many fans you have in Thailand, you might second guess having all your most intimate thoughts and ponderings on display for the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Sure, you will decide, you can definitely be friends with anyone who plays SL, cuz yanno, it’s such a small, close-knit, tight family. But do you really want ????tamatamatamalamma to know when your sciatica is acting up? You must decide – private or full access all the time to anyone with a keyboard and something to pound on it with?

Delete It All!

In the eventuality that you decide ‘screw it all, I’m soooo done with you lame plurkers!”, you will naturally want to delete your account. You won’t be the first or the last. Remember all that karma you strived for? Poof! Gone! When you inevitably decide to come back home, you will have to start anew. Rest assured in your absence, though, that people will speculate on your reasons for leaving, emote the wobbly crying guy while saying they miss you, or reevaluate their own place in the plurkiverse. Plus you will never get your awesometastic original user name back, so you will just confuse everyone who used to know you. Let’s keep it simple, kay?

Karma – Master or Slave?

A seemingly docile beast, Plurk Karma is in reality a voracious and insatiable lunatic. Since life as we know it would be over if you lost your (ninja), (headspin), or (banana_ cool)… I suggest you do at least a cursory lurk and plurk throughout your day. Nirvana may seem like a pipedream in the beginning, but trust me. With just some perseverance and a lot of jaunty comebacks, it will be your’s one day!



9 Responses to “Plurk Mini Guide”

  1. Terry Toland Says:

    Yay, I no longer need to actually visit the site and possibly sign up for an account! Thank you, Rosie! 😀

  2. ♥JellyBean♥ Says:

    Delete It All!?!

    Omg! I know! I know! I will never ever delete myself again and for those that knew me and ya didn’t even have to know me well – I’m Kymberlee now on plurk, so, like, uhhh… Call me Heeeey! *wink*

    P.s. Jinkies Rosie, GREAT PIC! *claps hysterically* 🙂

  3. I rest my case. Yet another yawner of a self-help post.

  4. I am there too… *blinks*

  5. @Snooze: I think that as one of the three founding members, and the person who had the idea for this blog in the first place, I am probably as qualified as anybody to speak to the intention’s of this blog.

    The basic premise it that it would be pretty cool to combine the best of the Mean Girls blog with the best of the Are We Not Men? blog, bring in several new writers to provide a fresh viewpoint, and then turn everybody loose to write on whatever topic they see fit to cover. We are picky about who we add to the blog, but once added our only rule is that they need to write once every 14 days or we will remove them. Both AWNM and MG were known for great helpful posts such as: How to Land a Dream Girl, The Art of Giving Good Text, How to Spot a Slut, or Wooage 101.

    That is the me being nice and justifying your valid question part, and trying to enlighten you. As for the other side of my personality, I have this to say. Seriously, it isn’t rocket science that if you are not enjoying the content then go read something else. If you are too dense to see the dripping sarcasm coming through Rosie’s post, then you probably aren’t going to get much out of our blog because we are past your reading comprehension level. I don’t hold a tremendous amount of respect for people who hide behind anon names and like to toss stones.

  6. Oh and by the way… great post Rosie. 😀

  7. Absolutely awesome post, Rosie! *runs off to delete her Plurk account* 😉

  8. is ever grateful that she never gave into plurk pressure……

    I became lost on step one!!

  9. Wilma Delgado Says:

    stands up and says proudly…”Hi my name is Wilma and I’m a karma whore”…

    thinks of a dumb question to post to raise my karma;)


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