SL’omeo… SL’omeo, Wherefore Art Thou?!

I’ve seen many posts with this theme over the last few weeks. From people wondering the same thing, to people answering the inevitable question, to people saying it much better than I ever could. But I’m weighing in with my perspective just the same 😀

In a world of like totally at least 1 million (not counting alts), how hard could it be to find a plethora of men just vying for the chance to be your one and only, your teddy bear, you’re oh-so-significant other? Turns out it’s a bit of a challenge. Strange, right?

You’re well-versed in SL, what one would call an experienced user, however, sometimes it seems you are not up to par with other, attractive-opposite-gender, types with the same level of experience. You find that it might actually be more immediately satisfying to find some noob, clean him up, and present him to your more edumacated, worldly friends. And in the process, learn how superficial you are by trying to pass off your unknowing newbie as the latest fashion victim in a cartoon world. Or maybe it’s that you are too experienced and therefore have an innate dislike of the bumbling ignorance of the grid we inhabit. Let’s call it snobbery.

I’ve done it. It didn’t work out. I’m not proud. Even when you find the one who’s willing to sit still while you revamp him and try to teach him what’s important in your slife, somehow it turns out not to be what you want. However, I must say that this particular type of  guy is a hero, putting up with your BS.

I’m simplifying. It was never just that cut and dry. Maybe it’s the feeling that all the good ones are taken – though that’s not to say that all the taken ones are good, jus sayin. Or it’s knowing that whatever you want to call it… shy, reticent, anti-social, diffident… you just aren’t playing well with others or putting yourself smartly into the path of finding your true slove.

Many times I feel as though I’m the only avatar alive. Though I know this is a false feeling brought on by the vast space throughout the grid. And despite all the pissing and moaning I’m doing here it seems I put myself into situations or relationships that will keep the other party firmly distanced from me. So, I really have no one to blame but myself. Doesn’t make me miss sharing my experience with another any less. Blah Blah Psychobabble blah.

Maybe it just requires a more methodical approach.

I miss having an SL-other. I feel a spark from time to time, but I get lost in the what I should do’s and reading other’s reactions. Half the time I think I put people off out of quietness or snark. I don’t think I read people well all the time and sometimes I just think I’m an inept flirt. Either you’re not getting that I want to have your prim children, orrrr you do get that but are afraid I might boil your bunny instead. At least that’s how I figure it. And then I get that image in my head of like Sandra Bernhard with latex covering her entire body except her mouth and eyes, snapping a whip and saying “come to mama”. None of which really inspires me to take a chance. Go figure.

Really, boys, I don’t bite… nor will I drive 45675135465765413 miles in diapers to declare my never-ending love. That’s too much like work.

Join a group! Participate! I do, uh huh, and then I lose my nerve. I know! It’s a virtual world. Be aggressive! Be outgoing! Mhm, I know! Somehow I can only keep that up for a short time. It’s not a matter of not being myself. Myself is more along the lines of that outspoken, outgoing, fun girl. However, that’s usually in small groups where I don’t feel the pang of fear. Flinching from some unknown but totally expected insult or rejection.

Where do I find him? My SLomeo? We know he’s not hiding in the dressing room of the hottest male fashion designers shop. That guy? He’s too clean. Too well-dressed. Tooo fashionable.

He’s not wearing the tight jeans and no shirt with a huge tattoo covering his sparsely-haired chest dancing next to me in the club. That guy has gestures and knows how to use em! His hair is also longer and flowier than mine. No thanks.

He’s not hiding his light under a bushel in that fox suit. Trust me. There’s no hidden light there. Just a deviant yearning for yiffage.

Where is he? I know he’s there… somewhere… waiting for me to come along. I’m just not sure where to check next.

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16 Responses to “SL’omeo… SL’omeo, Wherefore Art Thou?!”

  1. ♥JellyBean♥ Says:

    Great post! ❤ And I abso love the way you used “diffident” in a complete sentence. 😀

  2. I feel your pain and will be your SLomeo in Willis clothing… somehow >.>
    .

    Loved the post, Rosie! ❤

  3. I’ve been single in SL for about two months now, the longest I’ve been single actually and although I’m not interested in a serious commited relationship at the moment, I have a lot of the same thoughts you mention.

    Sure I have guy friends but it’s not quite the same when you want to have a snuggle or romantic date.

    If I did want male companionship I don’t even know where I’d find it without all the concerns about creeps or the guys who figure one date means start planning the wedding.

    *sighs*
    Single in SL

  4. ♥JellyBean♥ Says:

    Concerns about creeps or the guys who figure one date means start planning the wedding? These are the important single woman’s concerns? What if what he’s hiding under his bushel is really a who-who? Eep! *scream!*

  5. Your post reminded me of Alex’s: http://alexanderburgess.mygdala.com/?p=35 which is really, really long but a sort of answer to “Where the boys are…”

  6. Rosie Shark Says:

    @Myg, yes I linked his post in the first paragraph 😀 His is on my list of related posts recently.

  7. haha! so you did!

  8. You know Rosie it really sucks to see a good girl like you wasting away and feeling lonely. I’ve been in your very shoes up until very recently. No one notices you, you introduce yourself and get snubbed, your lady friends who fawned over you turn their backs as soon as you make it’s clear you are available. After a while I became cynical and resigned to my bachelor condition. Fortunately someone has come forward and it seems like it will be something special. I honestly don’t know what it will take to find your guy but for now I can say is be good to yourself and don’t settle for crap.

  9. Elizabeth Hallstrom Says:

    I had the perfect Sl man but I dumped him for what I would hoped would be real love outside of SL. We met as noobs – we spent hours together. For the longest time he refused to buy skin, honestly I think he refused just to annoy me, LOL. He hates to shop and doesnt change his shirt for months. But we enjoyed music and being silly. He didnt want RL just simply wanted my company. I talked to him today for the first time in about 3 months, sadly he said you blew me off to many times so I’m blowing you off. Dumb move on my part. Live and learn thats what I say.

  10. The most common method of finding guys I’ve observed amongst my friends is the “friend of a friend” thing. It works kind of like this…. your friend meets a cool guy, dates him, then realises he is an asshole. After she dumps him, you start dating him, and realise he’s an asshole too. Nursing your broken heart, you watch him move through your entire circle of friends doing the same thing. When all his options have been exhausted, you then spend hours with your friends bitching about what a jerk he is and making snarky posts on SL Secret.

    Just a suggestion…..

  11. Elizabeth Hallstrom Says:

    And oh dont discount the furries – there are some hot men under those prims! ha

  12. Gwen Tracy Says:

    I feel the same way sometimes. Maybe I’m not exactly going to find that romantic spark. It’d be nice to at least have someone to hang out with and share my interests with.

  13. Oh I totally agree with you on this Rosie. I’ve felt all these same things myself. Sounds like there are a few of us out there feeling the same way. Good to know it’s not just me. 😉

  14. Elizabeth Hallstrom Says:

    @stephanie – LOL

  15. Although we’re not in relationship, I found a guy who’s now pretty much my best bud. Just by chance we met at a Japanese club – the only two English speakers there and I was a noob who’d stumbled into the place by pure chance.

    Of course he’s a guy and refuses to go shopping. It took me months to convince him to get an AO and a skin (even then the AO is for a mecha), but I don’t mind. He could still look like a noob and we’d be friends.

  16. Unfortunately, due to the imbeciles in the Elizabethan era, “wherefore” actually means “why” and not “where”… but besides that tiptoe into Shakespeare, I do have a response: I’ve never partnered in SL—even after 2+ years. I don’t know if I ever will. I’ve met long distance friends and (le gasp!) lovers through SL, but even then, I didn’t have an SLover. They became “real”, whatever that is.

    Anyway, companionship is still sorely missed. I think there needs to be a Single Ladies’ Social Society or something where we can be each other’s dates and groups for functions that cater to couples or that you just don’t want to go to alone. In fact, if anyone wants to be in one, count me a founding member!

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