Dear Rosie: Naked Girl Baring it All for Love?

Dear Rosie.
I live next to this really hawt guy and I strut around in the tightest outfits or nothing at all and he never even talks to me. Why?
signed naked and frustrated.

Dear Naked and frustrated,

Perhaps he’s gay? You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him straight! Maybe you could send me the slurl to your house. I could surely find an asshole or 5 who would love to meet you just because you walk around in the tightest outfits or nothing. Tip: clackity hooker boots are a plus! Remember there are plenty of horses in the sea 🙂 Hope this helps.

Dear Rosie,
My gf has been talking a lot about this guy at work, she affectionately named Goatee guy. She is now starting to plurk conversations she has with him, and said that she made sure she sat by him on the same bench at work. She is wanting me to grow a goatee. Should I be worried?

signed Got your Goatee?

Dear Got your Goatee,
Yes, worry. Facial hair is like the badge the bad boy wears to signal his prey he’s on the move. Without it you’re just a pasty guy who lacks dangerous appeal. If you know women, then you know we like the mystery and darkness that is hinted at by that smattering of chin pubes. The fact that she calls him only by a pet name, objectifying him, also hints at a deeper underlying sexual twang that might be of some concern. But, hey, I’m sure she likes the cuddling and sweaty hand holding too! You just need to understand that one person can’t be everything to another 🙂 Good Luck!


Dear Rosie,
I am feeling guilt and remorse at my really bad habit of making up SL Secret posts which make me sound cool and mysterious, even though I don’t actually do any of these things. I feel like I get more attention as my anonymous self than my real self. Help me take back my life.
Signed, Contributer #1, 3, 7, 11, 15

Dear Contributer,
LOL… Hold on… lol… So let me get this straight. You so fail at trying to acheive being e-famous that now you’ve resorted to faking being e-famous??? You. Have. Too. Much. Time. On. Your. Hands. My advice? Turn off the computer. Now. Don’t log off, don’t log out. Hard Boot. Quick before I hard boot your ass! Now, go, go enjoy the sunshine… the real kind that provides heat and vitamin D. Outta the house! Don’t come back until you grow a pair and can pursue a real Second Life!

Dear Rosie,
I hate my life right now. Everybody thinks I am totally famous, and grab me every single day to stop me to say how great and witty and nice and the best DJ they ever heard, when all I wanna do is just be my little meek quiet self.
signed, I just wanna be a nobody again

Dear Nobody,
I’ve never even heard of you. Does that help? POOF, you’re a nobody again! *me backs away with her magic wand*

note: No actual magic was used/harmed in the making of this response

Dear Rosie,
I can’t seem to recover from the fact that I was the bestest MeanGirl there ever was, but yet I still got the boot without any warning. After laying awake for nights on end and crying streams of tears, I have now vowed my revenge. I will take them down like the bitches they are! Do you think I have a chance, and everybody will still like me?
signed, Snarkoleptic

Dear Snarkoleptic,
Wow… just wow. I want to apologize for the fact that when it comes to being snarky, you are *apparently* not alone. Mean Girls? What’s that? Geriatic rag mag like Reader’s Digest? And for the record, everyone loves snark, so you’re good! Keep it up!

dear rosie,
i am getting more and more interested in this lady with a great personality and who makes me smile so much…the only problem is this other guy situation, that seems a little rocky to me, but im not sure. i dont want to ask to many questions about her and him, but i am just going to continue to enjoy our conversations. should i just continue to be patient? thanks for listening

– flipping the bird

Dear Flipping,
First off, you use Caps when saying my name, got it? Now for your response: Yea. Patience alllllllllways works. Pffft! I say Declare your love! Let the world know! For sure she’ll go gaga over the PDA and will dump Mr. Rocky to be with you! I know it! Oh, wait… I just got caught up in your delusions. All I can say is there are plenty of hot cyber sisters out there waiting for a guy with your… patience. Find another. This one’s taken.


**To submit your burning questions, please see info below. Also, you can now submit your questions via private Plurk!


5 Responses to “Dear Rosie: Naked Girl Baring it All for Love?”

  1. lmao and THANK YOU for raising the Cap my Name issue, it drives me to drink.

    xox Sasy xox

  2. Everlasting Emo Says:

    Dear Rosie,

    I’m a pretty e-famous blogger but lately my posts have been pretty sad. I blog hoping it will make me feel better but later I just regret it and delete the post. I’ve become whiny and emotional all the time. The only thing that makes me happy is something that belongs to someone else. What should I do?

  3. ♥JellyBean♥ Says:

    Oh How I missed Dear Rosies! Yay! Glad to see them back! ❤

  4. lol, Lady Gaga is so funny! I love her.

  5. Dear Rosie,
    There is this guy at my school, and i try to talk to him but he never notices me. I try everything, even the tight slutty clothes but nothing works. I really just want to be myself around him (not a slut) and i have done that too. But he is just not interested in me. And he doesn’t have a girlfriend. What do I do to make him notice me?

    ~Desperate and Confused

    PS He is not gay, trust me

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