Noob Perspective on What People Do in Second Life

I decided to do a little non-scientific research into what people are up to in Second Life.   When I first started SL and had no clue what it was about, I used to rely heavily on the map function to locate a cluster of green dots, and then teleport in assuming that if there is a group of people in one place, then there must be something fun going on there.   Yes, my early days were spent in a lot of sex clubs and casinos (if you are old enough to remember when we had casino’s all over SL.)

Therefore, I put my noob hat on, and naively opened the map and selected the first three sims that appeared to have a large cluster of dots, and then tried to interact with the locals.

Stop 1:  Axo Mall and Camping Ground

Noob reaction: Wow, this is a happening club.   Although I can’t seem to find an open spot to dance *tear*.  What is this?  I am getting paid to dance with topless chicks?   Hell yeah!   At this rate, in about 11.5 days of nonstop dancing I will be able to buy a skin so maybe one of these hot chicks will actually talk back to me when I say, Hi!  I better grab another red bull so I can keep dancing and not lose my spot!

Stop 2:  Jackpot Zyngo

Noob reaction:  Hey, there really are black people in SL.   Is there some sort of uniform code here that I don’t understand yet?  I mean what is up with the gray outfit and green shoes?   Hope everybody has on deodorant today, since you don’t believe in personal space… lol.   Still no response, this is a really quiet group.   How is it that everywhere I go, I am the only one talking?   I am starting to wonder if I even fit into this group.   What the hell is Zyngo anyways?

Stop 3:  Club 44 Erotic BDSM Fetish Club

Noob Reaction:  Woooooooooooooot!!!   Finally, a chick who is willing to talk to me!!  Must be that new skin I just bought, after the 12 days dancing at that “other club.”   There are naked chicks on the walls…. NAKED CHICKS!!   You mean I have wasted three years of my life looking at Orcs and Tauren?   OMG, she just im’ed me.   I think she really digs me, and she wants me to go downstairs with her…

Noob Reaction:  Wait a minute… you mean I just hafta get naked and sit on “that ball” and we are like doing it and stuff.   Are you serious??   Oh, I can’t do that…  *blushing*.   Really?   You want me that bad?   Your a bad… bad… girl *wink*.   Alright if you think you can handle it…  I’ll give it to you.    Wait what is everybody laughing at?   What the FUCK???  I don’t have a cock?????  I look like a fucking Ken doll.   Shit, this is so fucking embarrassing.

What the hell, first I spend 12 days dancing at a club with only one type of dance, and nobody will speak to me.   I find a group of gray ghosts who just hang out in a knot all day, and no interaction.   Then I end up at a hot club, with beautiful women, and I find out in front of the entire room that I am not equipped…  Forget this retarded game, the Lich King will be out in a month.   If I wanted to be a social outcast, I could just go to the mall.


4 Responses to “Noob Perspective on What People Do in Second Life”

  1. /me is laughing out loud.

  2. too, too funny 🙂 Will send it to my out of world friends!

  3. LOL “You mean I have wasted three years of my life looking at Orcs and Tauren? ” 😀 *tears in eyes*

  4. Kinda Cynical Says:

    Victory for Sylvanas! (Yes, Im a geek)

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