Ex Etiquette

Sometimes it seems to me that in SL® there are so many various ways that people can describe their viewpoints on relationships. Almost as if some people are defined by pre-existing boundaries and some are creating their own rules and etiquette. Then I remember that in RL also, all people cannot be defined by the same stereotypes or ‘rules’ when it comes to relationships. Why is it that it seems so much more mandatory to define your relationship in SL, then?

Even more confounding about SL relationships is the proper way to end them. You’ve shared your slife with another for, like, at least 3 weeks… shot all the cuddly pictures, taken him shopping so that his friends can smell your fashion sense all over him, bought the house, furnished it. Then poof! Just as you’re discussing the adoption of prim babies, suddenly it’s all over. What now?

Unfortunately in SL, there is no divorce court. Although this might be a blessing in disguise, something has to be said for the way a third party could help tie up all the loose ends. Or maybe a rulebook, or fairy godmother, to give you guidance so that you don’t mistakenly do or say the wrong thing… something to steer you clear of the horrible faux paus you will most likely make in the throes of your sadness and sense of loss.

Well, I’m here to help 😀

Home is Where the Heart is… NOT

First off, you can no longer live where he does. That just won’t do when he starts bringing home the girl he’s been banging on the side in IM while he was putting up with you during the final days. Nor do you want to be ‘that crazy stalker ex that I just feel sorry for’ when his friends drop by unexpectedly. Find another place to call home. Doesn’t mean it has to be a permanent arrangement… there are fun little apartments all over SL that will do in a pinch. Just find your space. Decorate it how you want! This will not only get you away from the broken home, but also give you a much-needed distraction while you lick your wounds.

Yours, Mine OR Ours

Whatever will you do about all the stuff??? Somehow you must wade through the muck and together find a way to divvy up all of your most cherished possessions. At this time it would be most satisfying if the house he’s now living in on the land he pays tier for (and you’re no longer welcome to) was actually purchased by you. No better time than the present to whip that puppy right up out from under him and back into your inventory! Who cares if his SexGen® Bed is floating in the air where the second story used to be? Oh! I’d also like to point out that if you had previously granted him the privilege of modifying your objects, that right should be revoked toot sweet! In the chaos of a budding romance, many things get eschewed and you might find in the end that things he purchased are in your inventory and vice versa. I say, finders keepers! Well, unless you no longer want the junk and were only putting up with it because you sloved him. No, really, if he paid for it, it’s his now. Even if he really really wants back his hawt couples poses that you two tried out together… let him have em! Really, it’s kinda gross to think he’d try to present them to whoever he’s with next as new without at first washing them down! As for the gifts, those are yours to keep, or burn… your choice!

Icey water-colored memories

You were in slove, so you splashed infinite pictures of you and him all over Snapzilla, Flickr, MySpace, Plurk, blogs, everywhere. Dancing, lounging, sitting, standing… it didn’t matter. You took such care to leave your relationship footprint in so many ways. Now, the first thing you want to do is erase any indication that this person was ever in your slife. If that’s your choice, you can rest totally at ease that no one noticed, for sure. When the pictures go missing and new ones with your new beau take their place, totally no one will batt an eyelash. Uh huh. But who cares? I always strongly advise against deleting any and all traces of your past relationships. Chances are one day you will find yourself friends with this very same person. Besides all these encounters and people we meet along the way are part of our story. Just don’t be hasty.

While sorting out the mess that your relationship has become, just remember there were reasons why this person was important to you. Try to hold on to some of those warm fuzzies long enough to get through all the how-to’s of a successful SL breakup. As with anything, practice makes perfect. There’s no better time then now to start working out your plan of action should the need arise again


7 Responses to “Ex Etiquette”

  1. Aww Rosie, you’re so cute *pinches cheeks*

    I admit I had a very public huge break-up and did a lot of ranting I kinda regret, well not regret, just wished i’d have rethought it all, but hey a woman scorned and all that jazz.

    I like to stay on “friendly” terms with ex’s if I can, it makes life so much easier.

    In RL I got rid of all of my first true loves traces from my life and I regret it now, it would have been hilarious to read through the letters we used to send, I think being hasty is often wrong, but understandable.

    Great post!

  2. This is a great post, and I’ll be keeping this in mind on my next SL-reak up. In 3… 2… 1….

  3. Although I hope to not hafta use this advice in a long, long, time, it was still an informative post, and has been filed away with my SLawyer, “just in case.”

  4. I wonder if Hawks means a Slawier???

  5. step 4: don’t be a whiny bitch (or bitch-guy) after you break it off. Chances are, nobody else wants to hear about it after you’ve been weeping and blogging about it for a week–even if the guy was a prick or the girl was a witch. Pain is understandable. Attention-seeking Dramawhoring is not 🙂

    my $.02

  6. ♥JellyBean♥ Says:

    High 5!!!

  7. Lulz! This is awesome, and none of it is at all familar, noooooo ❤

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