Archive for SecondLife

Hindsight is 20/20

Posted in Op/Ed with tags , , , , on June 30, 2010 by ♥JellyBean♥

So I was thinking that I’d have some witty & awesome post to put here. I mean I logged in, took a pic and everything… but honestly I just wanted to take a picture of my pixelated ass and blogging about it just seemed a little bit unnecessary because well, look at that ass. I know right!?! Stay tuned though because it looks like I’m going to be researching prim tatas or some crap as directed by plurk because as we all know I’m out of the loop. Bare (*snicker*) with me, I’m forcing my way back in.

-JellyBean-

Bitch Bitch Moan Moan Whine Whine! or… Thank a Linden!

Posted in SecondLife® with tags , , , , on October 19, 2009 by ♥JellyBean♥

Heya folks! I originally had this posted over on my more personal blog but thought it just as relevant to be posted here (with minor revisions). So if you are one of the 5 people that already read it, my apologies. There is never a bad time to re-evaluate your reality or virtuality. (Like that word? I just made that shit up, off the top of my head & everything).

Look I get it – SL is not the most stable virtual world on the world wide web. In all honesty there’s not many that I have played that are (Ultima Online, The Sims Online, Rose, Laguna Beach, THERE, World of Warcraft, Auto Assault, Free Realms, Open Life, etc). The point is that these worlds, IMHO were created for entertainment purposes only. They weren’t created to take place of real life jobs, real life interactions or real life *gasp* lives. They were created to give you enjoyment & a nice little reality break.

However people have found ways to turn what they love to do into a way to make money within the virtual worlds that they play. Well hell – that’s awesome. If I had talent other than spewing my thoughts onto a page for my few readers and *I* could make money at it, you better bet I’d be boarding that gravy train in a heartbeat. So I’d like to say Kudos to those that manage to do that on a daily basis. I’m sure it beats my 45 min commute each way & being forced to listen to Kegan sing his little diddys Mon-Fri.

What I have noticed though is a rash of bitchy, moany, whiney comments regarding SecondLife across the blogosphere lately. This is broken, that is broken, I crashed again, LL should get their shit together, yada yada yada blah blah. I know that most people pay for their accounts and you have every right as a paying customer to complain about the service you recieve, but do you ever thank Linden Labs when the service is good? Do you ever say “hey thanks for allowing me to log in to the world you created?” Do you ever think about the life you had before SL? SL has not been around *that* long that you knew nothing before it.

I guess my honest opinion comes from the opposite end of this bitch-fest spectrum. I’m no longer a paid account in SL (I use to be up til 2 years ago) and I feel as a non-membership fee paying resident that I have no right to bitch. The rest of you that are on free accounts should also think about that – LL owes you nothing.

All I’m saying is look, if you don’t like it… leave. No one is holding a gun to your head making you stay and bitch daily about everything that you feel is wrong with SecondLife and/or LL. Here’s a positive spin on things… remember why you’re there in the first place and the things you do actually enjoy there. If you can’t think of anything then mayhaps it’s time to move on.

If by any chance a Linden reads this (which is super slim)… THANK YOU!

Coolest Thing Ever!

Posted in Fun & Games, SecondLife® with tags , , , , , on October 5, 2009 by ♥JellyBean♥

I’m the first person to scoff at certain roleplay…

Vampires? Really? You are asking me for permission to bite me? In my sick & sometimes twisted Vampire fantasies, the vamps never ask, they just take me all romantically hard & stuff. There’s other RP that I could mention here & also spew my opinions about but then I’d just digress from telling you about the Coolest Thing Ever Ever Ever ever ever ever.

All over plurk I’ve been seeing “doll skins”. At first I was like “o-kay” and then I move on. I’m not a big fan of lined doll skins. In my opinion dolls don’t have lines because they want to, dolls have lines because of function, they have to! (Yes, I know I am talking about dolls like they’re real, shup!) So if I’m going to be a doll in SL, I’m not going to have lines or buy a skin. Instead I’m going to find a cute updo hair style, wear my regular skin, throw on a tutu & get myself a wind up key… And so I did.

And I’m freaking adorable!

The thing about this key is that it was made to work with a sub collar for doll play. So you can’t just buy the Doll Key and expect it to work. You have to either buy a compatible collar or the “container”. Since it’s a proven fact that I do not make a good sub, slave or pet from past experiences, I went with the “container” (it’s located on the left hand side wall next to the Doll Keys). The instructions are a bit intense, and set up is a bit tricky. The good news is that Briggit & Peggy are awesome with customer service. Briggit helped me get my key up & spinning in no time and she explained to me exactly what I needed to do in terms I could understand.

So I haven’t even told you what I find to be the coolest bit about the key. First of all, you cannot wind yourself. Nope, you are at the mercy of others around you, or screwed if you’re alone. That’s my favorite part. When you aren’t wound, you cannot move/walk, you’re slumped, cannot speak in general chat, key is not spinning, and you cannot tp. Your best bet is to IM someone & ask for a wind up. This is great for anyone looking to make new friends, don’t you think? What better ice breaker do you need other than “Hi I know you don’t know me but could you possibly touch the key on my back and wind me up?” Each wind up is good for 30 minutes so it could also help curb your need to shop for long periods of time.

As with most collars (which is the premise for the “container”, you get to choose a Master that can control you if you choose via blue drop down menu or command words. If you attempt to remove the key, your Master will be notified just like with any standard collar.

A lil from the notecard:

dollsit (forces the doll to sit)

dolloff (Shuts the doll down manually)

dollwave (make the doll wave)

dollfollow (makes the doll follow you.)

There’s much more but since I’m blogging from work & Hawks isn’t my errand boy, you’ll just have to go check it out for yourself. Below are the SLURLS to the things I used to put this look together & make it functionable…

Doll Key & Container: Brigitt and Peggy’s store
A little shop with Amethyst collar plugins, Clockwork Doll keys, Jewelry, Dungeon Torches, piecing gag, collars, Land Rentals on the waterfront.

AO: ANAMATIONS – Music Dancer AO

TUTU: Sn@tch – Murder Ballet

Shoes: Shiny Things – Ballet flat – black

Hair: Truth – Rose – bubblegum

A big thank you and shout out to the one & only Inclinations Moody who had this look first and was nice enough to let me copy her.

Thank you also to HawksRock for grabbing the SLURLS for me and being my new more lenient Master.

-JellyBean-

Itchin for a Fight…

Posted in SecondLife® with tags , , , , , on August 4, 2009 by ♥JellyBean♥

It’s been a very long time since I’ve been very interested in anything related to SecondLife. I basically log in, play Zyngo, and log out. Sometimes I’ll buy hair but by the next time I log in, I’m lucky if I remmy that I bought it, let alone what it was named. I use to follow my bloglines religiously – Oh I need to remmy to buy that, there’s a new release, oh that’s cute! Slowly but surely my real life blog subscrips started outnumbering my SL blog subscrips… and now? Well now I barely even check in on that. I feel like I should feel ashamed, but nope, there’s no shame here.

I was thinking today that the only thing that seems to spark my interest lately in SL is a good fight, some dramz or pretty much any conflict I can find. I don’t always need SL for that though as there is plenty of it on plurk. Mostly SL folks too. It’s where I’m planted, where I can feel connected without actually logging in & it appears to be SFW.

In any society be it online, offline etc. there’s always going to be conflict. There’s some that embrace it (raises her hand high), some that cry about it, victims, and the victimizers. The ones that are the biggest dramites, we love to hate them. I bet you can name 3-4 off the top of your head right now. I’ll give you a second to think on it.

I guess we can call these shit starters, dramites and llamas necessary evils.  A necessary evil is anything which, despite being considered to have undesirable qualities, is preferable to its absence. We have those people in SL and on plurk. I’ve seen a lot of dramz lately and I’m just eating it up. As ya’ll know I’m one of the few that actually admit that I loves me some drama, as said many times before. I love drama in a box, with a fox and all while wearing socks… or even just with my morning coffee.

Basically it comes down to this… although everybody loves to whine about the shit stirrers, they are a large part of what makes us keep coming back. So mayhaps just mayhaps we should stop publically hating, blocking & muting the necessary evils, grab some popcorn & watch the show. After all everyone loves a good show.

Have you hugged your llama today?

You get this post – cause I got high…

Posted in Parody with tags , , , , on February 16, 2009 by ♥JellyBean♥

I was gonna clean my inventory until I got high
I was gonna get up and log in but then I got high
my inventory is still messed up and I know why
- cause I got high

I was gonna go hit the Dutch Touch sale before I got high
I coulda shopped and I coulda saved but I got high
I am paying full price now and I know why
- cause I got high

I was gonna go to ClockWork but then I got high
I just got a new Sine Wave dance but I got high
now I’m feeling like a dope and I know why
- cause I got high

I was gonna go to the Date Down Under Auction before I got high
I had a silent bidder on my phone but then we both got high
someone else got caLLie & Truth and now we know why
- cause we got high

I wasn’t gonna plurk but I was high
I wanted to fight with Tenshi and share my high
But she deleted me and now I know why
- cause I got high

I was gonna pay tier until I got high
I was gonna buy a Barnes house but then I got high
now Linden Labs has taken my land and I know why
- because I got high

I was gonna cyber you but then I got high
I was gonna fire up the sexgen bed too but then I got high
now I’m all alone and I know why
- cause I got high

I messed up my entire slife because I got high
I didn’t make Encore’s list because I got high
now I’m camping at Lost Dog and I know why
- cause I got high

I’m gonna stop writing this blog because I’m high
I’m blogging this whole thing wrong because I’m high
and if no one reads it I know why
- cause I’m high

Hey Jealousy… Hey Jealousy.

Posted in Love & War with tags , , , , , on January 29, 2009 by ♥JellyBean♥

Jealousy typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. Jealousy often contains a mixture of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. While jealousy and envy are similar, they differ in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy is about something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from getting.

Jealousy scenario:

You and your partner are at a club, dancing – let’s say on a Bits & Bobs v6. He is looking like his usual sexy self and you smirk at the fact that you’re with the hottest man in the room. This is an intimate moment between you two and you are stroking your keys with the oncoming foreplay via IM. Everything is going great until… in comes one of his ex girlfriends making her way through the crowd and stopping at the two of you. Your man looks up and is smitten to see his former flame. As he introduces you to the ex, you try to maintain a smile while trying to find your words. They continue to exchange friendly words and you sit idly by while your blood boils to levels that may or may not result in her body being flung over to the dj booth. In short, her presence is making you lose it.

This scenario is one of 21324657674654657 that depicts jealousy. Just like with aggression and paranoia, jealousy can take on different levels. The scenario above could result in you either being totally at ease by the ex’s presence, or getting into an all-out brawl with the bitch while accusing your date of being a cockspit for continuing a convo with her on *your* date.

For some, jealousy is a real issue and if left untreated, can create a permanent wedge between you and your partner, I know this, I deal with *my* jealousy issues a lot. Luckily, I’m getting better and I have learned it can be controlled.

Taken literally, jealousy refers to a strong desire for someone else’s importance, value or stuff. But in a social setting, it causes someone to be doubtful of their partner and/or feel threatened by their interaction with certain people, the clothes they wear, places they go, their job, their history, their smarts, etc. Which amounts to some level of trust. How much do you trust your partner? How much do you trust other people around your partner?

Like I mentioned before, I believe there are different types/levels of  jealousy:

Cute jealousy
Jealousy doesn’t always deserve its negative rap, after all, it’s normal for women to be suspicious of their men (and vice versa). Having reservations about him going to a strip bar with friends or not enjoying the sight of her drooling over some guy in a magazine (or even an H&R Block representative which tote reminded her of you) are innocent examples of how some jealousy can be harmless, and a perfectly normal reaction.

Healthy jealousy
A man who speaks up about having his girlfriend go out with a bunch of guys or seeing another woman flirting with your man is also part of a healthy re’ship. Usually, you’re  just looking out for your partner’s well-being and  iunno about men, but women usually respect that. They may even be insulted if *you* don’t say anything.

Obsessive jealousy
The problem arises when aggression and/or violence accompanies the jealousy. Once you’ve reached this stage, you obsessively begin questioning his loyalty to you, and that sends you into a rage, mayhaps even using or contemplating physical force. You have an extremely low tolerance level and, before long, he is unable to even look (plurk, IM, keep on his friends list) another woman or leave your side when you’re both out. You demand to know where he is at all times, what he’s been doing and the mere mention of another girl’s name sends you off the deep end.

You may have learned your jealousy behavior through bad experiences in your previous re’ships. If you’ve already been cheated on, this may cause you to be more possessive and controlling for fear of the past repeating itself. Even if he’s never given you any reason to doubt him, you probably become more desperate to hold on to the re’ship and want to avoid any situations that could lead up to him having a better option or a chance to be unfaithful. OR you may be the one who’s been unfaithful in the past, and, in a shameful attempt to not have the tables turn on you, you want to make sure that you are the only object of their desire.

For the most part, I have learned anyways, that  jealousy is an issue stemming from ones own issues with self-confidence and self-esteem. You may feel that you’re not good enough for him and that you’re together by a fluke. Watching him interact with other women leaves you feeling worried that he may be “stolen” from you. You may even be bothered by the close bond he has with his female friends, which he may or may not have known a lot longer than you.

Jealousy is dangerous for those who can’t control it, it’s bad in a re’ship because it eats away at the one thing that holds it together: Trust. To tell your girlfriend or boyfriend that s/he cannot hang out with their friends of the opposite sex is like saying “I don’t trust you”. If you have to impose such restrictions, should you two even be together? Jealousy also takes away from your quality time together, and trust me, it leads to numerous fights where you only focus on each other’s negative qualities. You could end up spending the bulk of your day stupidly thinking up scenarios in which they may cheat on you or you could lose them. Before you know it, the greater part of your re’ship will be spent on what could be happening rather than what is happening.

So how do you fix it? Easy peasy! Okay no, it’s not really easy… have you met me? I have issues. What I have learned that seems to be working for me thus far (I’m a work in progress) is…

♥ Learn from past experiences. You know where you fucked up being all jealous & whatnot? Yah, don’t do that anymore and if you do catch yourself, stop it!

♥ Don’t let your imagination dictate the kind of person your partner really is, you can trust em. Right? If you couldn’t, well then why the heck are either of you wasting your time?

♥ You need to realize that s/he chose you for a reason and there is no need for her/him to be so easily tempted somewhere else. Remind yourself that you’re every bit as deserving as those ‘others’ you feel threatened by.

♥ Ask a friend for advice. It may help you to fully understand the extent of your actions (as well as his) by getting a neutral party’s perspective. Well, if your friends are neutral that is.

♥ This one is a biggy and I think most of ours (Hawks & I) were outlined in the beginning during our hammock talk. Try establishing some general guidelines as to what is and isn’t acceptable for you. This way, you’ll both have justification (loves me some justification) for outbursts when either of you is behaving badly.

Honestly even without all the fancy smancy 1261 words *snort*, controlling jealousy comes down to a few simple things: communication, trust, self esteem, and self-confidence. If you can self help yourself with those things, jealousy won’t ever be an issue.

You can pick your list, you can pick your partner, but can you pick your partner’s list?

Posted in Op/Ed, SecondLife® with tags , , , , on January 21, 2009 by hawksrock

So today, I am going to attempt to do something which I know I am not supposed to do.  I am going to write a blog post in which there is really only one correct answer, but I don’t really agree with the correct answer so I am going to argue against it. You see, I firmly believe that you should have zero input over your partner’s friends list.  Everything is built on trust between the two individuals, and quite frankly if you don’t have trust then you really don’t have much of a relationship.

That is unless…     the sucker is extremely anti-me and chooses to do things to try to break us apart, in which case I think he should get the ax, be gone, sayonara, adios, don’t look back, and I don’t ever really wanna hear about him again.  You see, I am not really a jealous type.  In fact, Jell has a few exes that I actually enjoy having around and we are both great friends with today.  It isn’t the fact of who did what with whom how and over what sorta apparatus.  Although, I do exhibit a bit of a curiosity at times, and have a partner in life who is rather sharing in that department… so yes, I know all the gory “little” details (or did she make up the whole little part for my benefit,  hmmmmm surely not.)

Although, I am not the jealous type, I do from time to time have to step up and smack down those who get a little too fresh with their advances just cuz there is still a line you do not cross.  I feel this is just part and parcel though of having a hot witty girlfriend.  I remember a few private plurks that got me fired up, or the time in Tiny Empires when I was ready to disown 1/2 my line after a higher up said they like to “spread their Jelly and then eat it” in our family chat.   Luckily a verbal beat down was able to rectify that situation, since I was shown the chat.  There was also the creepyish guy who kept trying to get Jell to come to his house after openly talking about his swinging lifestyle and making open advances.  Even if you aren’t jealous, as a guy there is still a point in time when you are ready to take it to the parking lot regardless.

Now I am not saying everybody has to like me to be on her list.  I tend to have what is perceived as a rather strong personality type, and I draw both admiration and the ire of some, because I just cannot keep quiet when I see things that piss me off.  I tend to be vocal about things, but I will say that I am honest to my perception of things (because there is always a filter that impacts honesty).  I just don’t have that little filter in me, that thinks through the ramifications of being honest before I start just sorta laying it out there for people.  So needless to say, I get along great with most people, but at times hafta take crap off others who disagree with my views.

I assume that there are other couples out there who have people who either hold a candle for their old flame still even though she is with you, or who don’t appreciate you the way your partner does and think your partner could do better in life, etc.  This situation is not unusual on the grid, but there are those who then seek to actively undermine your relationship, and those are the one’s who need to be cut off at the knees.  At some point, helpful protestations turn the corner past just wishing the best for you, and become an agenda item.  I don’t think I am stepping outside my bounds in saying that I really would rather that such and such person is no longer part of our lives.  For the record, out of the hundreds of friends on Jell’s list this really came down to only 2 people.

For the record, although I asked for them to be removed, they remained on her list until such time as one deleted his character, and the other has been on and off her list for as long as she has been on the grid.  I am curious though as to your honest perception about managing your partner’s list.  Obviously, I feel there is very little input you should give, but what if they are intentionally trying to drive a wedge or saying things about you that just are not true?  Do you feel you have a right to make a case for their removal?   To demand it?  Or just to be honest with your concerns and feelings to your partner?

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