Who Said It? #3

[CLOSED. Results below]
“Out of all the ways you could have chosen to respond to me in that thread, what you chose was the most hate-filled vitriol you could come up with.”

The first person- excluding any SL Revolution contributors and the person quoted – who can accurately guess who penned these words will win a L$300 store card from Lucas Lameth (luc) Fashion Jewelry (both men’s and women’s accessories available) .

Sweep the blog and try to figure out Who Said It?.

Rules:

• Leave your guess in comments.
• Reply with your full Second Life name (first and last names).
• You must provide the link to the original comment in your guess.*
• “Who Said It?” will be open for guesses until August 17 @ 12AM SLT.

*How to copy the comment link:
(Click image below to enlarge)
With Google Chrome: Right-click the link and select “Save Link As …”
With Internet Explorer: Right-click the link and select “Copy Shortcut”
With Mozilla Firefox: Right-click the link and select “Copy Link Location”

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Answer:Viviane Draper @ The Death of Debate
Winner: Express Zenovka

Unknowingly Wearing Racism

To those for whom racism is unacceptable, and even to those for whom it is: what would you do if you found out a designer that you have purchased product from in the past was a “closeted” racist and portion of their product selections were targeted at consumers of the “darker persuasion”?

Considering how I would react in this situation came to mind when I received second-hand information from a mutual friend of  the “Source” who is an acquaintance whom I don’t communicate with on a regular basis. The conversation pertained to a well-known Second Life designer (the “Designer”)  and his/her views on race during personal time.

I have purchased product from this Designer in the past and, personally, will not continue to do so following this revelation. Neither will I put forth the Designer’s store brand as an option to those who, from time-to-time, ask where to find certain products. The store name is off my mental list of referrals.

Out of personal curiosity I asked other for their opinion on the matter. Several residents from a variety of backgrounds and interests provided their input. Some are designers themselves; some are culture and/or fashion writers, DJs/DJanes, photographers and other such entrepreneurs*.

Some, whom you will see an indication of, were given additional information regarding the circumstances under which this particular person’s bigotry surfaces. The Source has noted on several occasions, when in voice chat with the Designer, his/her racist viewpoint surfaces.

What would you do/how would you feel or react if you knew a well-known designer was a “closet” racist; his/her views being expressed in personal time when not surrounded by the attention of the fashion community at large? Would it influence your future purchases or opinion(s) of their brand? Why or why not?

The responses of polled persons included:

“Alexander”
A full-on boycott of that person’s products should be in order. If they really wanted to be in business they should [have] kept themselves professional.

“Beatrice”
Once I knew I would be extremely reluctant to shop at their store. Whether it’s in their own time or not it doesn’t change anything in my mind, I couldn’t be comfortable supporting someone if I knew their views on something like race were so far skewed from my own.

• In consideration of the use of alcohol: A disgusting opinion is still a disgusting opinion even if someone hides it most of the time.

“Corinne”
It depends how strong the views are, if it’s just plain ignorance I may not react in anyway. If the views are very strong and damaging and also I had definite proof they said these things I would not shop at their store.

• In consideration of the use of alcohol: I agree [that] people are less inhibited when they are drunk and more likely to say what they feel. It would still be important to me to know exactly what they said and to know that they definitely said it before I made a judgment.

“Juniper”
The “Emily Post”-like topics should be kept in mind: speak only of the weather; never politics or religion.

• In consideration of the use of alcohol: I wouldn’t change my mind. I’m still a no. [I’ll add] the designer being tacky when wasted to the list.

“Maureen”
It would be difficult to support someone like that for the same reasons as “Beatrice”. Not that it makes a difference, because is racism no matter what the world.

• In consideration of the use of alcohol: It doesn’t affect their ability to design but …. it affects my desire to be around them or their work.  It’s my opinion that alcohol only tends to make people more open about what they say … not change who they fundamentally are.

“Sinéad”
I wouldn’t shop at their store and I wouldn’t miss using/wearing their products. I don’t shop at other stores for less serious reasons, so, this racism would be a huge deal for me.

• In consideration of the use of alcohol: It’s hard to hide your innermost feelings when you are drunk.  People are more likely to be their core selves – up front – when they are inebriated.  It’s harder to put up a more “politically correct” persona when you have alcohol running through your body.

“Stella”
I’d be offended, but don’t see what them being a well-known designer has to do with it. It’s equally offensive from anyone.

“Vincenza”
I do feel that some designers should just keep their mouths shut for the good of their business. There are some ….  who can carry themselves well and professionally. There are others …. who can’t seem to stop opening their mouths and I’m pretty sure it makes business suffer.

“Zenobia”
I agree with “Beatrice”. I’d be a bit reluctant to shop somewhere where I knew the designer was racist, as racisim is something I strongly oppose. Although some could argue the point their beliefs don’t affect their ability to design, but I think it’s whatever makes you more comfy … and I think I’d feel uncomfortable.

• In consideration of the use of alcohol: No, it wouldn’t change my opinon, I’d just think they couldn’t hold their drink well and wonder what else is going to come out, ‘cause often the truth comes out more when intoxicated, right?

In this case, the Designer’s behaviour has resulted in a damaged relationship with the Source. If information was to get out to the larger community, I’m certain it would impact his/her brand profitability – not to mention causing some short-term drama and social unrest.

What are your thoughts?
Comment away.

* Names of residents above have been changed to protect anonymity.

Who Said It? #2

[CLOSED. Results below]

“All hail the giant waggling cunt! May your amber waves of labia ever be free.”

The first person – excluding any SL Revolution contributors and the person quoted – who can accurately guess who penned these words will win a L$500 store card from Aitui.

Sweep the blog and try to figure out Who Said It?.

Rules:

• Leave your guess in comments.
• Reply with your full Second Life name (first and last names).
• You must provide the name of the quoted individual and a link to the original comment in your guess.*
• Who Said It? #2 will be open for guesses until Friday, March 13, 2009 @ 11:59PM SLT.

*How to copy the comment link:
(Click image below to enlarge)
With Google Chrome: Right-click the link and select “Save Link As …”
With Internet Explorer: Right-click the link and select “Copy Shortcut”
With Mozilla Firefox: Right-click the link and select “Copy Link Location”

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Answer:Thema Felix
Winner: Express Zenovka

Who Said It? #1

[CLOSED. Results below]

“If the said person has been disrespecting people’s integrity publicly, does [that] not justify the same treatment back in return.” 

This pearl of wisdom was left by one of our many commenters on The SL Revolution blog since the first post in September 2008.

The first person- excluding any SL Revolution contributors and the person quoted – who can accurately guess who penned these words will win a L$500 store card from Casa Del Shai.

Sweep the blog and try to figure out Who Said It?.

• Please leave your guess in comments.
• Guessing game will be open for guesses for 3 days and close on Friday, February 27 @ 12AM SLT.

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Answer: Sands (Leavitt)
Winner: Peter Stindberg

Which Came First?

The culture of the Second Life™ blogosphere presents an interesting casuality dilemma – which came first, the Drama or the Drama Mongers (also known as Drama Queens/Kings or Drama Whores)? Each exists in a relationship of circular cause and consequence. Drama can not come into its harmful fruition without the nurturing of Drama Mongers; Drama Mongers can not reach their full destructive potential without the existence of Drama. One exists for/because of the other. Oh, the philosophy of it all.

Once the symbiotic cycle involving Drama and its Monger has been initiated, it requires fuel to continue to survive – not unlike a fire. Opinion-based feedback from involved and uninvolved parties provides a hearty meal or the animal, causing it to grow and spiral out of control, oftentimes to the point where the original Drama Monger can no longer contain the fallout and then runs away crying to re-enact their well-rehearsed victim routine while lamenting on why this type of thing follows them. The resulting frenzy provides a warm atmosphere of fulfillment for the Mongers.

If you’re outside of the drama loop keep informed. Familiarize yourself with the signs of Drama build-up so you can steer clear and avoid being singed by the radiant energy.

Only you can prevent forest fires.

Giveaway signs of a Drama Monger:

• Their in-world profile. This will, in some way, mention drama as penned in their own words. It’s so cliché, but it’s true. For those who are not regularly or often involved in the cycle, giving acknowledgment to Drama is not even a consideration, but for active players, it’s ever at the forefront of their thoughts. Paranoid much? Whether it says how much they dislike it or describes how they’re going to react when confronted by it (usually, how their posse is going to kick yer a$$), it’s all the same. They’re in it. Thick.
• Attention whoring. He or she will make a concerted effort to put him or herself smack-dab in the middle of the action, regardless of whether the resulting attention is positive or negative, oftentimes making the issue about them even if it isn’t. If the Drama has begin clandestinely, the Drama Monger will instinctually “out” themselves as guilty parties by being (one of the) first to take offense.
• Public cattiness paired with stupidity. When it somes to spewing some form of ego-stroking bullshit at someone else’s expense the Monger needs an audience. After all, what is Drama without its appreciators? Typical examples include talking shit about someone within their proximity in public voice chat, non-private Plurks or Twitters that are critical of others and what they’re doing (even private Plurks/Twitters that are viewable by the subject’s friends and acquaintances).
• TMI! Receiving intimate detail overload should set off red flags for anyone who gets to know someone’s entire life story (which may include all the lover’s they’ve had and any related experiences in detail, any abuses suffered throughout life, how many people they’ve fought with and/or beat up, any medications they are on, etc.) after the first 10-30 minutes of meeting after having simply asked, “So, what do you do in SL?”.

Common forms of Drama:

• Drama disguised as public relations. The public deserves to be informed, yes, but giving too much information can prove to be damaging. Posting information on a store blog that the general public does not need to know is a common offender in this area.
  • “XYZ designer ripped my or someone else’s products”. If they’re not your products, inform the original designer, leave it in their hands and respect their wishes. If you are the original designer, file a DMCA without telling the world. Incidentally, by not being discrete you’re: (A)  giving the guilty parties opportunity to delete content and cover their tracks, and (B) opening  yourself up to losing a portion of your customer base when their esteem for you and your brand dwindles as they observe your words or actions in the ensuing melee. When it’s all over, tell us about it (or not), and when doing so, please just state the facts as he-said-she-said will just degenerate into petty exchanges. Opinions tend to be easier to argue against than fact.
  • “XYZ designer has just pulled out of our fashion showcase because [describe the drama in excruciating detail]“. We don’t need to know. This type of masked drama serves only to embarrass the designer. If disseminating information about this is appropriate at all, simply post a statement that says XYZ designer will not be participating further, thank them for their involvement thus far, and apologize to those who were looking forward to seeing their involvement in your show. And for goddsakes disable commenting.Here’s a simple way to avoid that to all the store managers and so-called public relations specialists who keep stirring the pot: take some time to find out what public relations actually is. Google it and take advantage of the free learnin’ resources online. Adapt the principles to the SL climate.
• I SLove U 4Eva Drama. Yes, many people search for companionship in Second Life, whether they want that to spill into real life or not. But to fall in and out of the I’d-lie-for-you-die-for-you-give-up-all-my-worldly-possessions-for-you type love every month with a different person? Getting involved with someone who leaves behind a long trail of jilted ex-SLovers – especially ones who were partnered to another during the romance, is inviting Drama into your life. You end up defending yourself and your SLove (though, they probably don’t deserve your loyalty) against an army of angry exes and their friends who’ve been dragged into the matter by proxy.
• Blog comment Drama. Some blogs attract more backbiting and heresy in commenting than others. Everyone wants to get their 2¢ in. The most insidious of all commenters is Anonymous (or some similar nondescript moniker). Good ‘ol Anon will freely spread uninformed and unfounded opinion with a button click without having to own up to the words, then sit back and revel as pandemonium breaks out. Blog owners that have opened up their posts to public and non-anonymous commenting can’t predetermine what people will write, though they can moderate and ban as needed. We don’t always have to agree, but we don’t always have to disagree vehemently.

Whether intentional or unintentional, we have all been involved in drama in SL at some time or other – myself included.

Sometimes you can’t avoid being drawn into Drama, especially if it is directed at you. The best course of action is to carefully consider and compose what you’re going to say (without direct attacks or insults), say your piece, then ignore the agitator and don’t respond to their aggression. The best course of action is to take the high road.

Personal Space in Virtual Space

It may all be virtual, but people still need time for themselves. And though it is all pixels and coding in a brave new world with its own set of rules to govern acceptable social interaction, that doesn’t mean we throw away certain etiquette. Let’s be considerate and reduce opportunities for us to be annoying to those who we claim to be friends of.

Personal space. We all need it to varying degrees, depending on how introverted or extroverted we are. It’s a universal part of the human condition.

Every resident probably has a collection of stories of ways in which they have been aggravated by someone who has chosen to be inappropriate and, therefore, bothersome. In fact, some people avoidance cope when faced ith overwhelming in-world social pressures by making alts – an aspect of SL culture that many like to be critical of. It’s a vicious cycle, indeed.

In speaking with several residents, here are some of the common frustrations in dealing with others and some related advice.

(It’s long, so, more after the cut)

Resolutions

The time of year is rolling around when people start talking about new beginnings and New Years’ resolutions. The end of the year has always been a time for taking stock of the past and looking forward expectantly to the coming year. It’s a time for introspective musing, for contemplating the changes we want or need to make in an effort to become the ideal person we aspire to be.

Whether you decide to resolve to tame the bulge, quit smoking, or budget better here are a few tips to ensure you successfully stick to your commitment to yourself.

Write it down (and set reminders). Give your resolution some prime visual real estate. Whatever works for you – tape it to the fridge, set a reminder in your PDA, make a notation in your wall or electronic calendar, journal it in your diary or blog. Writing down your goals gives you a higher chance of success because things become real when they leap from your mind and onto something tangible and trackable, and you’re more likely to hold yourself accountable.

Determine a success indicator. Whether it’s losing 50 lbs. by the end of 2009, giving up smoking cold turkey, or cutting out excessive spending habits you should establish for yourself a point at which that goal has been partially or fully met. In sticking to your guns and following through it’s important to feel good about what you’re doing. It motivates and validates. So, reward yourself when you meet that goal.

Hint: Use some common sense and don’t cater the very behaviour you’re trying to modify as a part of the gratification. If your goal is to lose a certain amount of weight within a specific amount of time, avoid rewarding yourself with food. Those attempting to quit smoking should not involve gratification from smoking or its triggers in goal incentives. Recovering spendthrifts should stay away from buying something superfluous for self-affirmation.

Pamper yourself for that hard work without falling back on the old familiar crutch that you’re trying to isolate and cut out. Keeping yourself motivated with little incentives will help you to believe in yourself and visualize yourself reaching your target.

Stop talking and start doing. Regardless of what your resolution may be, it will never move into the realm of becoming a reality if all you ever do is talk or think about it without putting together a plan to follow through. Unless, that is, if your New Years’ resolution is to talk more. Plan!

Starting by deciding what your end vision is. Consider where you want to be and then work backwards to where you are today, taking into account all that you will need to accomplish while plotting manageable steps to your target. You’ll create an easy and non-daunting action plan to make your goals come into fruition.

Hint: Want to lose that bulge? Decide how you want to lose weight – gym membership, a Wii fit, walking/jogging around your neighbourhood, eating healthier, etc. Want to quit smoking? Talk to your doctor, look into stop smoking programs in your area, cut out and/or avoid smoking triggers (coffee, tea, alcohol) and stop carrying around your smoker’s paraphernalia. Want to save money? Consult a personal financial advisor, or take a look at your typical monthly spending habits and determine the non-essentials that you tend to splurge on.

Research any related costs and commit to a budget if necessary.

Tell people. In making changes to our lives we all need support from the family, friends and coworkers around us. The English poet John Donne wrote that “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main”. Human beings are social beings that thrive on and in the presence of others; we do not flourish when isolated from others. In some way or another and in their own way those around you will keep you accountable, prompt you, and keep you in check when give them the opportunity to passively or actively participate in the journey to your desired life change(s).

Curtains Down for Encore Mayne?

In the midst of all the Encore Mayne madness that’s pock-marked the fashion feed as of late I just wanted to throw up a log of my own conversation with Miss Mayne, which she initiated (I don’t know her from Adam) after I commented on the Shopping Cart Disco post that outed her as a pay-to-play fashion blogger. Oddly enough, she wanted to be paid off for blogging about a freebie item.

Since the SCD post’s publish date, Mayne has scrambled to re-establish her credibility, but has proved to be her own worst botched public relations campaign (more drama here and here)

Very unflattering.

My suspicion is that she has been systematically instant messaging anyone who posted a commented with their Second Life™ name that was not in agreement with the method(s) to her madness (which was everyone) as it came to light that she was also messaging someone else on my friend list at the time who had also commented.

I share with you my conversation with Encore Mayne on November 30/08:

[15:07] EnCore Mayne: hi catero
[15:08] Catero Revolution: hello
[15:08] EnCore Mayne: just noticed your comment on SCD
[15:09] Catero Revolution: and it compelled you to IM me in-world?
[15:09] EnCore Mayne: of course
[15:09] EnCore Mayne: i was wondering if you’ve ever been over to my blog
[15:09] Catero Revolution: i have. i’ve also read the chat log as posted on scd
[15:10] EnCore Mayne: so your opinions of my blog are based on the log or the reviews you’ve seen
[15:11] Catero Revolution: is there a point to you IMing me, miss mayne?
[15:11] EnCore Mayne: yes
[15:12] Catero Revolution: please share
[15:14] EnCore Mayne: i was hoping you could answer some questions
[15:15] Catero Revolution: you have a 3 question allowance
[15:15] EnCore Mayne: [15:10] EnCore Mayne: so your opinions of my blog are based on the log or the reviews you’ve seen
[15:16] Catero Revolution: as i said, i’ve read/seen your blog prior to the SCD outing on your unethical practices
[15:17] EnCore Mayne: that suggests you have an opinion of my ethics before you read my private comm with [Store PR staff name removed]?
[15:18] Catero Revolution: i’ve had an opinion of your blog prior to reading the chat log
[15:18] Catero Revolution: one more question
[15:19] EnCore Mayne: no, that’s one question, you had an opinion of my “unethical” behaviour prior to the SCD post, i’d like to know what that might be based on?
[15:22] Catero Revolution: miss mayne, i’m not going to even ask you of your state of mind in that conversation. but i will say very clearly that asking for monetary or other compensation in exchange for writing a review is not only absolutely ridiculous, but also unethical
[15:24] EnCore Mayne: you seem to miss the “prior” to my stolen private communication, the question i was trying to get you to answer: you had an opinion of my “unethical” behaviour prior to the SCD post, i’d like to know what that might be based on?
[15:26] Catero Revolution: i doubt the sl public was aware of your unethical practices prior to the post. and you’ve just gone over the 3 question limit
[15:26] EnCore Mayne: clever, you never answered but the first
[15:27] EnCore Mayne: let me surmise that the unethically revealed log has completely supressed any prior knowledge you may or may not have had of me or my work
[15:29] EnCore Mayne: have you exhausted your squirming?
[15:30] Catero Revolution: i have no reason to squirm. i’m actually in several other IMs. the log was revealed ethically, bypassing linden labs tos
[15:32] EnCore Mayne: yer not about to answer anything that goes outside of your firm beliefs based on that log
[15:37] Catero Revolution: listen, i don’t know you and i have no idea why you’re IMing me outside of the fact that i did not post in agreeance with your ideals and/or actions. deal with it
[15:38] EnCore Mayne: i am
[15:38] EnCore Mayne: thanks love
[15:39] EnCore Mayne: sure wouldn’t want my good name to be dragged through the mud too much, haha
[15:39] EnCore Mayne: i’m ending this comm, please do the same, thanks

In reading other comments, mine was very tame. Others described her as “haughty, and poor, sprinkled with an attempt to be overly-dominant”, “a fucking nutjob” and (my personal favourite) “nuttier than squirrel shit”.

(I just hope she IMs Stephanie Misfit not realizing she will soon be on the receiving end of a merciless verbal bludgeoning.)

Shamefaced Apology

This is not the usual Rev post where I bitch and rant about something that “grinds my gears” in a Peter Griffin-esque fashion. Instead, its an apology to my former partner, Phoenix Chapman, who has summarily blocked/deleted me from every imaginable communications tool and has asked that I never contact her again.

As a flawed individual I fuck up regularly. And I royally fucked up and really hurt her feelings, and for that I truly am sorry. Sometimes one is aware of, but doesn’t fully realize what the consequences of one’s actions will be until the line is crossed and the impact of the fall-out is experienced first hand.

I keep re-reading the last message she sent me, seeing myself through her eyes and realizing what complete asshole I am.

For all it’s worth I apologize, Phoe.

♥

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Soundtrack to sadness

• Gnarls Barkley – Who’s Gonna Save My Soul
• Kanye West – Love Lockdown
• Madonna – Sorry
• One Republic – Apologize

To Shit or Not To Shit Rainbows

Recently, an anonymous SLsecret postcard called into question the character of Second Life™ fashion bloggers, asking:

Why does every freaking fashion blog have to constantly poop rainbows? Can’t we be unhappy sometimes?

The short answer: no. “We” can’t. You can. But not in a fashion blog post. Take your gripes to a more appropriate forum. Like Craig’s List.

How could one possibly be unhappy while being courted by the community’s best and brightest design talent to showcase their latest creations? C’mon.

Fashion blogging by its very nature is a labour of love. One writes about what appeals to them. People aren’t likely to put forth the (quality) effort to invest so much time and resources into something they are not positive and passionate about. Considering the flipside to mainstream fashion blogging – like the ill-fated and hate-filled Brutal Honesty blog – I’d take shitting rainbows to shitting … well … shit any day – literally and figuratively. Shit gets messy, and you have to wipe it. Rainbows would probably float out in a candy-scented trail, leaving no unsightly residue. Not to mention that the power of positive thinking is good for your mind, body, and soul.

Let’s not kibosh this fecal-free trend. I much prefer it to sucking the hopes and dreams out of your fellow man, like some Supernaturalesque crocotta, leaving behind a trail of empty, soulless carcasses.

Keep in mind, there are plenty of people who poop rainbows, not just SL fashionists with blogging know-how – followers of the Ba’hai faith, GLBT rights activists suffering from chronic flatulence, and Sarah Palin supporters are amongst the most common rainblowing factions.

The critical postcard has resulted in a movement of pro-prismatic poopers. The charming Kesseret Steeplechase of KessKreations has made a graphic tee for proponents of this particular interest group.

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Photo Credit (right): Courtesy of Shopping Cart Disco’s SLsecret week #13.